Dreams

I've been a bit lax about writing frequently. I think the fact that I finished the school year made me realize how much I needed to relax and let down. Well, I really should put "let down" in quotes because I'm still working and singing and reading and cleaning and living my normal, busy life. the only difference is that I don't have papers due every day.

I'm prepping for a concert weekend. it's going to be amazing, and I'm sure to have an entry on it. More on that as the week progresses.

My dreams are getting steadily stranger the longer I'm out of school. Mixtures of outer Space and Planet earth, doctor Who and choir rehearsals, trips around the world and people I know, everything all mixed up in a jumble that only seems really screwed up when the sunlight streams in through the window.

Usually, I love dreams. They are bizarre and interesting, a whole new story and way to escape the humdrum of reality. Sometimes, they help me work out my problems and offer solutions to my life. Other ones wake me up in a cold sweat. I've gotten to the point where I can usually tell what certain things mean in my dreams. Sharks are a fear of things changing or a fear of something beyond my control. Flying is something I want: maybe adventure or courage to reach beyond my perceived limits. The Weeping Angels (Doctor Who: look 'em up!) are a fear of what I can't see, what I can't predict: the knot of fear when you are alone int he house. Very few dreams stick around very long when I wake up, but sometimes I can etch certain details into my memory. I can still remember fragments of dreams I had as a kid. Or a recent dream that had a strong effect on me.

I thought that dairy before bed was what triggered the really scary dreams, but I think that other factors (like temperature) can trigger the bad ones. meditation or storytelling does help, but not always. Sometimes I just can't shake the scary feelings.

Actually, since the upcoming concert I'm in is called "Dreams and Visions," it has given me a chance to really think about my own dreams, especially the ones when I'm fast asleep. Maybe I'll crack the code soon on how to avoid the bad dreams all together. Or, maybe not.

"Hold fast to dreams."