The Lazy Song

Definitely been a busy week, and things are only going up from here. I began brainstorming ideas for a new story to write today. As time goes on, I'll see where it ends up. Maybe I'll post previews of it here.

Even with everything I had to do today, I just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. If I could have spent the day in bed, I would have, but I had church and choir rehearsal and it was/is Father's Day, so I had to get up for all that.

If feels like my life got a lot simpler once school ended. I haven't really felt like I've had much to write here. Work is going to pick up this week, so I might have some stories from that, or maybe not.

I was just thinking about something a good friend of mine once said: "Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted." I'm not sure why I started thinking about it. I think it's very profound and true. I know I spend a great deal of my time worrying about the future and regretting past actions and it really doesn't seem to be the way to go. Huh. Maybe I'll ponder it some more. Maybe it'll end up in my story. Maybe I'll sleep on it and see how I feel when the sun is up again.

"Today I don't feel like doing anything./ I just want to lay in my bed."

Written in the Stars

I feel like I've been slacking here. I post, blink my eyes, and it's a week later with no new entries. I'm either just that busy or just that lazy. Right now, it's a combination of the two.

I've been thinking about writing another short story (for my most recent one, read the entry So They Say. It's back in March). I'd never had a story write itself before, but I had 3 very clear images in my head of where the story was headed. I guess I'm looking for a similar inspiration for another story, maybe one that could turn out to be longer or head to a later work/ collection of stories, etc. You know, trying to keep my options open.

I've been thinking of doing reviews on here of books/shows/movies. that could be a great deal of fun and would certainly begin soon. Now that church choir is "over" for the summer and I'm not rehearsing all the time for one choir or another, I'll have more time to write. Or maybe more time to watch TV or read a good book. ;)

Have a good one!

"Written in the stars/ A million miles away/ A message to the man/ Seasons come and go/ But I will never change/ 'Cause I'm on my way."

Coney Island Baby

At my church, we are lucky enough to be blessed with a multitude of children and teens (and adults) in the choir. The youngest ones are 3 or 4 years old!!! When I joined my church three years ago, I was not expecting the volume or talent of musicians present.

The choirs are split up as such: 3-7 year olds, 2nd-5th grades, 6th-8th grades, high school girls, boys whose voices have changed/are changing, and adults. We will sing anywhere from 1 to 4 or 5 prepared pieces on any given Sunday (aside from the hymns). Solos go out across the age groups and are always up for grabs; a good incentive to show up early for the Sunday morning call is to offer out solos to the first arrivals.

Most of these kids have grown up together and are really good friends. My siblings and I joined the church three years ago, but we were welcomes with open arms and a great deal of joyful noise. Back then, one brother was a tenor (now a baritone) and the other was a boy soprano (now a BASS II). I'm still a soprano/alto/tenor, or as my parents once called it, a trans-SECTION-al (hahaha).

The way I remember that my brother was a boy soprano that year was because we sang the Rutter Requiem for the All saints Day concert, and he had the high solo at the end of the Pie Jesu (it goes up to a nice high A flat). It's hard to believe how quickly his voice has changed.

Anyway, the teen boys rehearse after the adult choir rehearsal each week. They have a fair amount of religious and spiritual songs in their repertoire, but they also have some contemporary songs as well: Stand by Me, Wonderful World, Banana Boat, and Coney Island Baby to name a few. One of the coolest things about the contemporary pieces (aside form the great harmonies and awesome soloists) is the choral-ography. It just makes the piece, and the boys sing it so well; you can tell they are having a blast.

I can remember hearing Banana Boat back in 2007 when the boys did a joint concert with my old youth choir. I thought they were brilliant, hamming it up for the audience and generally enjoying themselves (at least THEY were smiling and moving around while they sang, and they still do).

As a sidenote: in case you haven't noticed, I don't use names and places in my blog. I use general descriptions and such. If the people mentioned indirectly want to claim their references, they are more than welcome to. I'll leave it up to them. It really should be their decision anyway...

"Farewell my Coney Island baby. Farewell my own true love."

Dreams

I've been a bit lax about writing frequently. I think the fact that I finished the school year made me realize how much I needed to relax and let down. Well, I really should put "let down" in quotes because I'm still working and singing and reading and cleaning and living my normal, busy life. the only difference is that I don't have papers due every day.

I'm prepping for a concert weekend. it's going to be amazing, and I'm sure to have an entry on it. More on that as the week progresses.

My dreams are getting steadily stranger the longer I'm out of school. Mixtures of outer Space and Planet earth, doctor Who and choir rehearsals, trips around the world and people I know, everything all mixed up in a jumble that only seems really screwed up when the sunlight streams in through the window.

Usually, I love dreams. They are bizarre and interesting, a whole new story and way to escape the humdrum of reality. Sometimes, they help me work out my problems and offer solutions to my life. Other ones wake me up in a cold sweat. I've gotten to the point where I can usually tell what certain things mean in my dreams. Sharks are a fear of things changing or a fear of something beyond my control. Flying is something I want: maybe adventure or courage to reach beyond my perceived limits. The Weeping Angels (Doctor Who: look 'em up!) are a fear of what I can't see, what I can't predict: the knot of fear when you are alone int he house. Very few dreams stick around very long when I wake up, but sometimes I can etch certain details into my memory. I can still remember fragments of dreams I had as a kid. Or a recent dream that had a strong effect on me.

I thought that dairy before bed was what triggered the really scary dreams, but I think that other factors (like temperature) can trigger the bad ones. meditation or storytelling does help, but not always. Sometimes I just can't shake the scary feelings.

Actually, since the upcoming concert I'm in is called "Dreams and Visions," it has given me a chance to really think about my own dreams, especially the ones when I'm fast asleep. Maybe I'll crack the code soon on how to avoid the bad dreams all together. Or, maybe not.

"Hold fast to dreams."

Thankful

While cleaning the house today and listening to Lady Gaga, I did spend some time thinking about what I was thankful for.

I'm thankful for a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food in the kitchen.
I'm thankful for my ability to cook.
I'm thankful for my family: my parents and my siblings, through thick and thin, we are together.
I'm thankful for my two wonderful, dogs: Dumbo and Dingbat (not their actual names)
I'm thankful for my music: words cannot describe how much this means to me. It makes me tick.
I'm thankful for my education: all three elementary schools, middle school, high school, and college.
I'm thankful for my friends: past, present, and future. You are the best support system I could wish for.
I'm thankful for my choir friends. They are a whole category in and of themselves.
I'm thankful for my job: the people I work with and the kids I teach.
I'm thankful for my mentors: you come in many shapes and forms, and you have all been completely inspiring.
I'm thankful for my ability to drive: with or without a car, it is a helpful thing to know.
I'm thankful for my study habits: they get me great grades and opportunities in life.
I'm thankful for my acting talent: I love finding new lives in the imaginary world.
I'm thankful for clever jokes I find on Facebook (like the following:

• I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
• Forgive me for ignoring you. I was Writing in my head.
• Sometimes your "Knight in Shining Armor" is just a "Retard in Tin Foil."
• :(: Bipolar

"So for tonight, we pray for/ What we know can be,/ And on this day we hope for/ What we still can't see./ It's up to us to be the change/ And even though we all can still do more,/ There's so much to be thankful for."

Judas

So, Lady Gag's new album "Born This Way" was officially released today. I've heard some of the songs on the radio as they've been released (Born This Way which has already be parodied by "Weird Al" Yankovic in Perform This Way, Edge of Glory), but one that I had not heard as much was Judas.

Amazon was running a deal today, so I got the album and has already begun slowly working my way through it. Taking a hint from the name, I began to listen closely to the lyrics of the song, expecting a religious theme, seeing as Judas betrayed Jesus at Gethsemane. what i found was incredibly interesting. The lyrics are filled with references to the story of Jesus and his disciples during Holy Week. This was more than I was ever able to get listening to it once or twice on the radio while driving to work (which is probably a good thing as I should probably focus on the road while driving).

The link above is for the music video. The video itself essentially depicts Jesus and his disciples as a motorcycle gang with Gaga as Mary Magdalene. each disciple has his name on the back of his jacket, and "Jesus" has a crown of thorns on his head. Gaga, in addition to all of her crazy costumes that are the norm in her videos (and in pretty much all of her public appearances) has one outfit that is a red bandanna and a blue headscarf/shawl. Jesus is always trying to break up fights and use peace to keep everyone together. Judas is your typical "bad boy:" drinking, starting fights, and staring lustily at women.

While I think we have all come to expect really crazy things from Lady Gaga, I don't know if people were prepared for this particular video. Considering the amount of religious tension that can be seen everywhere on a day to day basis, I wondered how people would be reacting to the song and the video. On Youtube, the video has over 75,000 dislikes to its 235,000 likes. The comments are filled with arguments over whether or not people like Gaga (and a fair amount of curse words are thrown around as people try to defend their positions). My favorite comment is as follows:

"Why is everyone so against this song? She's basically saying that even though she tries to be good, everyone is tempted by the bad at certain times.Using Judas and Jesus' names were just a metaphor for the good and the bad. What's so wrong about that???"

I think this perfectly describes what she's getting at in the song. I don't think it's any kind of religious crack or commentary. Judas and Jesus happen to be one of the most well known pairs of good versus bad (I know it's more complex than that, but stay with me here). I have yet to meet someone who was not at least slightly tempted by something bad or forbidden; that is what Judas represents. Jesus is the symbol for the right path, the path of what is healthy and smart and good. However, that being said, it is very difficult to stick to the straight and narrow at any point in time; that's where choice comes in.  It's up to us to choose the good over the very tempting thing that might not be good for us: the bad boy, drugs, sex, food, etc. In the end, I think it is a clever, expressive way to describe a very prevalent issue. I personally like this song. I like Lady Gaga as an artist and for her bold self-expression. I mean, come on. What other artist could pull off a dress made of raw meat?

"I'm just a Holy fool/ Oh baby he's so cruel but/ I'm still in love with Judas baby."

Till the World Ends

Considering the current hype, I figured this title was very appropriate. I was really ticked to hear that people were saying the world is going to end today. Seeing as how everything dies as soon as it comes into existence, to hear people say that, "This is the beginning of the end of the world" is absolutely retarded (sorry if that's not politically correct). The world began to die 4.5 billion years ago. So there. That's my two cents. Although, I really do hate that little voice whispering, "But what if they're right?" Shut up, Voice. You don't have a say in this. So freaking there.

It's been a long week. With unpacking, adjusting to being home, job applications, work, choir, and a still messed up sleep schedule, I'm ready to drop. Go freaking figure. It also doesn't seem to matter how early I get up in the morning, my body refuses to fall asleep before 12:30 or 1 in the morning. it has been nice to not worry about papers and projects being due. Being out of school does wonders for keeping stress levels down.

I have a concert in a few hours; my brother is making dinner and then we'll leave for our call. The music is gonna be amazing, and I LOVE the people I'm singing with. I almost feel more at home in this choir than I actually do at home. I'll be thrilled to be singing, excited to get a good night sleep, and ecstatic to wake up safe and sound in my own bed in the morning.

I will say this: if the world had to end tonight, at least I know I will be with my family, and I will be making wonderful music that feeds my soul. That's all I really need, right?

"See that sunlight, we ain't stoppin'/ Keep on dancin' till the world ends./ If you feel it, let it happen/ Keep on dancin' till the world ends."