Steal Away

Yesterday was Good Friday, probably the most depressing day of the year (like Valentine's Day is for single people). I was at church from 8:30 in the morning until 5:50 in the afternoon, leaving in a hurry to run back for a play run through. I attended/sat through/sang/ wrangled kids for the 3 hour Good Friday service from noon to 3. I chose the title for this entry from the song the guys performed today, a spiritual entitled "Steal Away" that was absolutely gorgeous.

One of the "Meditations" which are like mini-sermons really spoke to me . It was all about control and about how in order to fully experience the resurrection on Easter, one has to let go of all control. Only by relinquishing our grip on control can we "die and be reborn." One of the points made was about love and how in love, we are at our most vulnerable and have to let go of our control and risk being broken so badly we almost can't be put back together again.

I want that. I want to let go of my control and fall in love, the kind that sweeps you off your feet and stuns you beyond all normal reason. I feel so many times that I am repeating myself with what I wish for, but I hope that by saying it enough and thinking about it enough, I can draw it to myself. Maybe I'll get to the point where I can be vulnerable and risk it all for that one special person.

"Steal away, steal away home/ I ain't got long to stay here."