This is the Day

The insanity is over!!!!! I get my life back! Yes, Holy Week has drawn to a close with the big extravaganza that is the Easter Morning double service: bells, brass, full organ, over 60 voices in the choir, and TONS of logistical challenges. You'd think that our director was asking us to launch rockets into space instead of walking in a straight line. :P

The vergers used incense in the service again. Coupled with the scents from the flowers, it gives the church a wonderful smell: full, rich, layered. I love it.

Of course, today would be the most hot and humid day of the last month. By the time we were finished with the 11:15 service, it was 83 degrees Fahrenheit!!!! It was so warm in the gallery of the church that our cottas (the white, puffy shirt that goes over the robe) was sticking to the back of the pews. That combined with the restless nature of the school choirs and the extremely talkative nature of all children under the age of 19, most of the time, I felt frustrated. I was essentially relying on prayer that the gallery didn't get too loud and disruptive and that they would sing the right song at the right time.

The title for this entry was inspired by the kid's anthem "This is the Day." It is definitely one of our favorite pieces to sing. It has a definite gospel feel, a good beat, and it's not too simple. My director told me on Friday that I'd be conducting the piece (oh great), but it wasn't bad at all. In this case, conducting meant nodding at the soloists when it was their turn to sing, and dancing for the choir. I'm not kidding. I was up there bouncing my arms, using gestures, and grinning like an idiot, trying to get the group looking happy and moving a bit. I essentially kept the beat with my body. It was actually a lot of fun, and at both services it got applause. Actually, one of the best moments in the piece was when some of the adult Choir basses began clapping during the piece; the got most of the church clapping along at one point. Thank you, basses. :)

Our priest gave a very interesting sermon today. As always, there was a gentle remark about the flux in attendance that is associated with today, but then she began to talk about the gospel reading. She even acknowledged that there are people who think the whole thing is a load of pious nonsense, but she said, "Well, it's our story." She went on to talk about Rob Bell, an Evangelist who is annoying the other Evangelists because what he says and what he writes sounds more like an Episcopalian than anything else. In his book Love Wins (I really like that title), he talks about how Heaven and Hell are not concrete places we will go in the future. Hell is separation from God through sin/ letting other people rule you/ being untrue to yourself. Heaven is letting God tell our story instead of telling our own story of ourselves. When we start telling our story (usually accompanied by a great deal of self-abuse), we "lose our way" so to speak. I thought the whole take was interesting because I believe in Heaven and Hell on Earth, and I believe that we make them for ourselves.

The second time through was better and worse. It was much harder to keep my energy up, and certain things felt a bit sluggish (*cough* prelude *cough*), but the logistics worked out better and our director didn't have to scream at us (oops). Our director even told us that we could take a break during the sermon since we'd heard it once already. We sat in the library and talked and sang.

The peace at the 11:15 service was the best, though. I was saying peace to the Altos, working my way down to the Sopranos when one of the girls from the Red Choir came over to say peace. Before I knew it, I was there for thirty seconds giving out handshakes and hugs to a whole swarm of Red Choir kids. I made it back to the Sopranos and finally managed to make it to the Bass section to say peace to one of my friends. We hugged and as we broke apart, the church seminarian cam over and teased us, saying that "She wanted to see the Holy Ghost between us." After we both gave her a blank stare, she explained that when boys and girls were dancing together at Catholic School, that was what the nuns would say. This had us both in fits of laughter.

As a good friend of mine would say, I probably have "church poisoning." It's like food poisoning only with religion. You get to the point where you've been at church SOOOOOO much that you'd be happy if you never set foot in the building again. But it passes after a few days. I'll be back there later this week for rehearsal and to assist my director.

In conclusion, after this entire week of services and rehearsals and actually paying attention in church, I'm not sure what I believe. There are certain things that still ring true, but there are others that just fall too short. I remember earlier this week hearing a prayer to bless all those who had not found the true path and who had strayed. I had been in the middle of deep prayer and suddenly felt like everything I had been feeling vanished into thin air. It felt like the stereotypical Christian line about needing to "save other people." And yet, there were other moments where I felt almost religious, where I could almost believe what was being taught. I suppose time will tell, but for now I want to kick back, relax, and not think about church or religion for a few days. Happy Easter!

"This is the feast of victory for our God. Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia!!!"